Secret Doors and the Cruiser

Hey guys, you may think we would have some crazy encounter with mormons since we are in Salt Lake, right? Well, we did.
We also asked for it.
So we went to temple square (MormonTown)
and went up in their corporate building (ya, like google corp. super creepy powerful)
and an old lady greeted us at the door. After about 2 minutes of tour-guiding us, she asked if we were mormons. We of course told her, "Naw, Lady." then she responded with, and i quote, "Oh. But you all look so nice and clean. And you seem so happy!"
because those are unattainable without Joseph Smith as my spiritual guide.
AAAAANyways.
so that was fun, they have a gorgeous garden in there, and not to mention an enormous temple
that non-mormons arent allowed to enter. BUT WAIT
it gets better.
There is a secret door.
I kid you not. We were just enjoying a flowerbed and sitting behind the massive temple, when we saw a young woman walk up to what seemed like a wall and press an otherwise unnoticed keypad. She then swiped her mormon-card, got scanned by the security camera (set into the wall) and then the wall opened a small door which she slid into. This could only have led down to the secret catacombs underneath the temple. Or the great volcanic lair of a dragon that they serve their abundant baby sacrifices to. We sat there for a bit and watched another young woman use this same secret entrance. I plan on sneaking in there some day, but I will be bringing Glamdring with me, because I want to see it light up when orcs attack me beneath mormon-town.

Backtrack with me a bit, to before we went to Temple Square. We are walking out of the farmers market, i have some delicious cinnamon bread with me. On our travel to the square however, we hear shouted from beside us, "hey, Tom Cruise!" and we notice that a rotund, shirtless, and apparently homeless guy is calling out to me. He then says, "That's a nice green shirt, Cruiser!" as a genuine compliment. I was tempted to sign him an autograph as Tom Cruise to make his day, but the Cruiser is a bit crazy these days so he mightve cracked down on my fraudulent autograph. Well that's all I got for right now. Gonna go relax for a bit with my now sonic-filled belly.

Brian